Saturday, March 05, 2005


"I reckon--when I count at all --
First -- Poets --Then the Sun--
Then Summer-- Then the Heaven of God --
And then -- the List is done --" Emily Dickinson

Perhaps it was the new hair colour, though I was at first alarmed at the slight apricot tinge to the blonde after having been used to a sun-bleached platinum shade for so long. But later, when I was out on the Drive, and ran into my friend G. he said I looked 'fantastic'. Then I met up with V. in the coffee shop, and she said the same. That seemed to set the tone for the rest of the day yesterday.

I'd been running all around town earlier, trying to get replacements for those missing CD's, because my Havana buddy has invited me to come to his place later tonight to watch a movie about Cuba. I wanted to make sure I had retrieved the ones that had been taken as I know they were two of his favorites.

Then, in the evening I had to attend a Board meeting for the Pandora's Poetry Collective.
So there was no time to rest, definitely no time to write, and all that bus riding had made me weary.

I'm glad I hopped on board with the Pandora Poets though, because they are two dynamic women who are doing so much in the community, working with downtown street kids, school groups, encouraging young poets as well as the workshops they do for adults. And the Board meeting was exceedingly organized. A pleasant experience, and a worthy cause to be involved in. They have some exciting plans and hopefully will get the grants they are applying for.

Friday night is usually my dancing/socializing night and I'd told my friend the Babylonian I'd meet him at the L.Q. after my committments were over. By then I felt very tired, and considered going home instead. But I had that new 'do' and was all dressed up, so I went as planned. It was an odd night. There weren't any of the usual 'regulars' at the bar. I got a good seat, my usual favourite perch, and settled in to listen to the music. The lilt of the Latino music is uplifting and gay. However, my mood and energy level was low.
The Babylonian came and left. Said it was 'boring'. There were strange vibes, that's for certain. And as the evening progressed it was evident there was something going on with the owner who can sometimes be so uptight. I was also in a guarded mood in regards to that certain 'friend' who is one of the weekend musicians. For some time now I haven't felt comfortable there and end up getting my feelings hurt, spoiling my usual good time.

When he saw me, just like old times, he gave me one of his bright smiles and waved. We talked, briefly, at the break. I didn't expect more than that. Frankly I was in a dark mood again. Then, a surprise!
My friend J. appeared (It was only her second time there and she'd been there all along but we hadn't seen each other.) She slipped me a goodie on the way out and that little toke boosted my spirits like magic. My mood changed and I began to feel happy, my energy returning. Too bad there was nobody there to dance with! I weighed carefully what (if anything) I would say to my chileno before leaving for the night. Then suddenly we were talking again, just like we used to, and he was giving me a big warm hug. And I felt as if that dark cloud that had been hovering had lifted.
"I love you," I said.
"And I love you, " he said. "And it will be forever."

Maybe it was just the Latino charm. Maybe it was the magic of the moment. But I trust that we have really 'made up' and that we can resume our friendship like it was before. (He wasn't my 'boyfriend'. We didn't have that kind of relationship. More importantly, he was a special friend, one who I admired and enjoyed, an intellecutal relationship. And I have felt so bad about that loss.

So, here it is the weekend. And although it's an overcast day, in my heart I feel the sun shining again. Once again, no time for writing today. I'm going to a travel writer's gala this afternoon with my young aspiring writer friend S. And later tonight to my Havana buddy's house to watch that Cuban movie. More about these events later.

"Love-quarrels oft in pleasing concord end..." John Milton

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