tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10059313.post1909412582539194346..comments2023-10-22T04:53:10.706-07:00Comments on LIVING THE WRITER'S LIFE: PROGRESS REPORT #47: THE DEADLINE APPROACHES!Wynn Bextonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606284153866696343noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10059313.post-9048289694217634412009-01-01T23:46:00.000-08:002009-01-01T23:46:00.000-08:00Adrian, I always appreciate your comments and sugg...Adrian, I always appreciate your comments and suggestions. Most of these bits haven't been workshopped yet so can do with a bit of tweaking here and there. I'll certainly take a look at that particular line. And please feel free to comment on any others in future. "Drama" and "Tragedy" are the real words for this story, that's for sure. And I do think it will be a bit unique if in the final draft I set it up as "Acts" and 'scenes' with the "Epitasis" at the end of each. Anyway, I'll see. I note in Margaret George's "Memoirs of Cleopatra" she has the parts marked as 'scrolls' which is quite effective.Wynn Bextonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08606284153866696343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10059313.post-58222266053310530362008-12-29T13:48:00.000-08:002008-12-29T13:48:00.000-08:00Wynn, loved the excerpt! I think you have a great...Wynn, loved the excerpt! I think you have a great idea there of dividing the story into parts and labeling them to correspond to a Greek drama. That will look truly awesome in print.<BR/><BR/>One line stood out to me:<BR/><BR/><I>The child’s voice trembled with emotion though he tried hard not to cry.</I><BR/><BR/>Maybe this would be stronger if you did not mention "tried not to cry" but instead showed a contrast between steely eyes (trying not to cry) and trembling voice (about to cry). Let us infer the rest.<BR/><BR/>Otherwise, I was quite drawn into the story and really enjoyed the scene. You give a clear sense of what, when, where, who, etc. Your writing is vivid and cuts straight to the heart of the scene (rather graphic way to put that, but the story is a tragedy so I'll go with it).<BR/><BR/>Loved the photo. Snow is cool!<BR/><BR/><I>Adrian</I>Adrian Swifthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03531355795873701197noreply@blogger.com